Why am I so Lonely?

Sometimes we feel as lonely as if we existed in a remote landscape, far from humanity. We FEEL lonely. Our feelings are real, but their sources must be discovered and purged before we can move past them.

 

In literature, we hear phrases like "As ye reap, so shall ye sow" and "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". These sayings have survived through the ages and become clichés for a reason. The world as we know it is a system of give and receive, one in which whatever we give comes back to us in kind. Think of it this way... if you were a TV or radio station, transmitting static and screaming hate into the atmosphere, who would you expect to be calling your station and what would they be saying to you? If we are lonely and we yearn to be loved, then we know that we are not giving - we are not giving the very thing we want to receive.

The very best way to give love is to exude it, "as the myrtle in yonder valley gives forth its fragrance", rather than trying to give love to specific individuals.

"It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." "What does that mean?", you say. Be yourself and give your love and time without thought of ANYTHING coming back to you. You must also allow yourself to receive gifts as they come to you. Most people find this to be the most difficult aspect of giving - it is perhaps the most important.

It's likely that your circle of friends will change when you start to change your self. This is to be expected. If you change yourself, there will be many who don't have any use for you anymore, but there will be another entirely new set of people will be attracted to your new self.

In this day's world of instant gratification, we expect that the minute we change our behavior, the world will change. Such is not the case, however, and we are disappointed and return to our old ways quickly. We must change our CORE BELIEFS about our innermost selves. We must believe that we are worthy of all that is good, that we are not alone, never alone in this world. When belief has taken a solid root, then we must seek to KNOW that these things are true, know them to the core of our being.

Here are some things you can DO to make it happen.

1. Make the assumption that every time you start to feel lonely, it is because you are not giving love to others. Realize and take responsibility for the fact that when you are "wanting" (this word means the same as lacking) love and affection from others, it is because you are not giving that love freely. Remember, love does not have anything to do with gifts and presents, or with money.
2. When you hear thoughts and words within yourself that tend to self-pity, STOP COLD.
3. Listen to your thoughts and words; take them and dissect them. Listen to your tone of voice or the way the thought sounds in your head. Are you whining? When someone you know starts talking about being lonely and goes on and on, how do you feel?
4. Stop yourself as soon as you are aware that you are starting to feel lonely. Get up and get out and do something, if it is only to go to the store for milk. Begin to find new activities for yourself. Perhaps you have always been interested in learning how to make pottery. Take a class at the community school!
5. Make a plan for a new you and stick to it.

Slowly, you will begin to notice and take charge when these detrimental moods "come over" you. Remember that your thoughts create what you experience.