Rage: The Internal Assassin

Rage is a beast that kills the spirit and blinds us to the world around us. Anger and rage are very different. Anger is a healthy outlet of emotion which is quickly over. Rage is a condition, a state of being, the expression of which is never far beneath the surface. Rage is a habitual reaction to a lack of Personal Power, yet another result of failing to take responsibility.

When we fail to take responsibility for our thoughts, beliefs and actions, we abandon our power. We give our power to whatever or whomever we blame... Often, enraged people tend to blame other people, institutions or agencies and society in general for their woes. We know that this is pointless, that no problem exists outside in the world we see unless it exists within us, and that is where we start.

Rage and depression are perhaps the most difficult to deal with on the path to self-empowerment. They are certainly the most habitual and deeply engrained. We feel justified in either of them; we find ways to support these self-damaging behaviors. Feelings of powerlessness can either cause us to feel useless and depressed or enraged, or both. It is a cycle that must be aggressively broken; nothing short of sincere intent will do.

Consider this... when you "lose control" of your temper, you are really transferring your control away from yourself to the object of your rage. If the other person acts sorry and treats you special, you have temporarily gained control of something. Control is the issue here. We attempt to control others because of the lack of control we feel over our own lives. Period. The only way to feel in control of our life is to take responsibility for everything in it.

Control of ourselves does NOT mean stuffing the feelings. Control starts with taking 100% responsibility for thoughts, beliefs and actions. (Don't worry about the other guy taking his 100%, that's not your business.) Every time that you feel rage, it is stimulated by an incident that reminds you that you have been powerless in your life. As you begin to take responsibility, those powerless feelings will grow weak in comparison to what they are now. Eventually, they will disappear completely.

Maybe you have a habit of stuffing the feelings you have when a co-worker tries to manipulate you or tell you how things are. You can make a good start by beginning to RESPOND rationally and immediately in those situations, instead of REACTING or stuffing it and taking it home to the people that you should be loving the most.

Stop beating yourself up for all the mistakes that you have made in the past! Allow others to forgive you too (or be angry with you); talk with your close friends and family about past events that bother you so that you don't continue to carry burdens from long ago. Understand that you are not different from other human beings, no matter how much you insist that you are. We all have had many of the same feelings and experiences. You are not alone, regardless of how much you demand it to support your feelings of separation.

Here's how to deal with rage:

1. Acknowledge the fact that you have rage. Own it and accept it as a part of you.
2. Try to catch yourself as soon as you realize that you are enraged. Stop the rage COLD in its tracks: close your mouth and walk away from the situation if you can or must.
3. Look for the trigger. Rage is a habitual behavior that you learned as a child to get your way. Your wife or husband or child cannot "make you mad". They cannot make you sane either; only YOU can do that!
4. As you begin to catch rage in the process, and take responsibility for it, you will find it disappearing from your life. Eventually, you will notice that you can catch yourself before you ever get "mad".

Rage kills your ability to interact effectively in your life; it blinds you to love and other wonderful things in this world that you want very much. RAGE CONTROLS YOU, and you control nothing and nobody when you are enraged, not even yourself!

When you can begin to see the triggers and find the source of your rage, and begin to take responsibility for your life, you can get rage out of your life forever! Remember that this is a process; be patient with yourself.