Why am I so Stressed?
 

We become stressed when we fail to balance our lives with something that satisfies our goals, or what we perceive to be our goals. Sometimes we "buy" goals from society or other individuals instead of defining and "owning" our own.

We often feel like there is something wrong in our lives which is not at all clearly definable; we experience stress and it's companions: tiredness, headaches, stomach aches and irritability.

We experience stress when we feel like we are in the wrong, or not up to the task in front of us, but why is this? We have a tendency to set ourselves up for failure to prove our unworthiness to ourselves. We take on tasks that we know we cannot fulfill instead of saying "No". We are afraid, afraid of rejection, afraid of losing our jobs, afraid that we won't get that raise, etc etc ad nauseum.

We buy into other people's (or society's) definitions of appropriate goals, when in fact we are the only ones who can define our goals for ourselves. Personal goals are very important issues, and we need to assertively define them in our lives.

Don't let fear dictate your life! Use excitement as a guidepost. Be honest with yourself, so that you KNOW when you do and do not want to do something. Even if you do not have experience in some area, if you are excited about it, that excitement can carry you through to success.

Excitement is the key to finding your true career goals and your true self. What do you do when no one is watching you? What could you do for hours and hours if you didn't ever have to go to work again? For me, I had to say that I played on the Internet! ;-) I searched through all the things I did that kept me enraptured for hours and hours... I searched through new avenues that were similar. I found my passion (the World Wide Web), but I also found the Passion within me, which is with me even now. The stress is gone; I know what I can do right now and what will take longer.

You've heard the phrase, "Do What You Love and the Money Will Follow"? It's true, beyond a shadow of a doubt. You do have to search and research all of the possibilities, and then explore new avenues that you have never thought of before (maybe no one else has either, but hey!) and give your imagination free reign.

Here's what to do:

1. Start by jotting down all your feelings about everything for a period of about two or three weeks. Keep a little notepad with you, writing down your feelings about things, especially the things that make you say, "Ooooo!"
2. Don't look back at what you have written the previous day.
3. Pay very strict attention when you become aware that you have lost track of time. Be sure to note the specifics of the situation and the people involved so that it is easy to recreate in your mind.
4. When you think you have written enough, write for another week.
5. When you feel like you just can't write any more, put your notebook away for at least a week without looking at it.
6. Now take your notebook and read it carefully, combining and tallying your results. You might want to keep track of your negative feelings on a separate sheet; for now, we want to discover your passions. Some of your ideas may be a little out of reach, but keep them in mind because sometimes the seemingly absurd ideas are the best.

   Remember that what we are doing here is to awake your passions and put them to use, and to ultimately find goals that match YOU. Work at discarding all the warnings and negative comments that you have gotten from other people. YOU are the only one who can really decide what you want and what will satisfy you.

7. At some point, you may want to start completely fresh. Just put the first notebook away in the closet. You will find it VERY interesting a year from now, I guarantee you!

Remember that this is a life decision and it's not a trivial fast track solution. Give your imagination full reign! If in the end you find you can't make heads or tails of what you have written, send me a note and we can arrange to correspond.